Whenever I put these things out, I know that I will sometimes meet people around here (where I live, in Hawaii) that actually read this blog, and actually know me, in the personal, bodily, 3D and higher, sense. But as it turns out, it really makes no difference to me what I post. If it feels that something “needs” to be posted, or if I really “want” to share something with the world out there, I just do it. I don’t ask questions. I just do it. (Like taking a ride on a camel. Just do it. Figure out how to get down later… and make sure you have enough money to pay the guy who got you up on the camel and took your picture to get you off and give you your camera back (that’s for another blog post!))
So this particular piece I’ve been feeling tonight… Well, it’s just that there is this process called “Ascension”, and sometimes I have not any idea what it will be like at each moment, Until that “each moment” comes. So much of what is going on in my individual “sphere” or “world”, is so absolutely not sense-ick-all, or standard-ick-all, or norm-all. I’ve been looking to maybe going out and seeking “work” to do, to bring in some income, to help pay rent, or other things, and not have to continue to draw on progressively dwindling savings, credit cards, checking accounts.
But tonight sitting here and feeling all about that, it just was like a huge revulsion rose up. There is no way that I can do that right now. No way. This is not an intellectual decision, or choice, or whatever. It’s just the way it is. Where this will go, I don’t know. Where it ends, I don’t know. Where I’ll end up “being” next month, I have no idea.
Sometimes these tinkery voices (that’s the word that came in, “tinkery”) come around for a second or two. They say things like, “Well, you could just go back to what you used to do. That’s okay. How could it hurt to do that? Come on… Get off your butt and get out there. Live that old life you used to live. Go out and play music at the markets like you used to do. All you do now is sit around and read things and post things on this blog and play with your cats and take walks and do energy things and that’s not very important anyway and it doesn’t make you any money and don’t you know you have to be practical and be good to yourself by having a standard income, just like a lot of other people do. Come ONNN…”
I don’t struggle with these tinkery voices at all. I just hear them (or “sense” them), and let them go. As I go back to the next blog post. Which again brings me nothing tangible to help pay my rent or my food or my car payment. Now there is none of the “pity me” idea, that says “I work and I slave and what do I get?” in all this. This is just what this is.
So tough nits if anyone doesn’t go for this. I stopped putting judges around me all the time, and stopped traveling with those judge guys (most of mine were male, for some reason). And now it’s just to be, and to be where I “need”, “want”, “feel”, to be.
This may mean nothing to anybody, but I put it out there, for all the world to see. I tell you, so many times I have NO idea what I am doing here, why I am living in the place I live, and what in Heaven’s name I’m writing. And I guess I’m okay with that.
Kauilapele
Thank you for sharing your perspective. Just so as you now you are not alone in your way of thinking I ve given up myjob last week. Not that It was awful or anything but I couldnt reduce my hours and didnt want to be so tired all the time: so i put myself first and just quit. Made space for soemthing to materialise instead. “Old” way of life is on the way out: we now need to have time and space to live from moment to moment. and you are doing just that!:)
Money will show up if you follow your heart.Have faith in your “Higher Self” to deliver.
Ewa x
Don’t give up what you are doing!
It seems important, at least to me and I am SURE that everyone else feels the same.
I find it hard to even do housework?????
Just enough to get by. I think about it and there is no incentive.
My get up and got has left the building!
My will won’t!
I live on a small SS income, so I don’t have the rent to worry about, etc.
I wish we could all get together and help each other (like you)
All love to you and keep on truckin’!
Aloha, I have my camel back picture too…183. Yes, I was there in a past life too…
And I too am waiting for my orders, what would you have me do? And where would you have me be? So, I suggest that when you go into the matrix know that you can escape in the blink of an eye…it’s all in the state of the mind…
Aloha, Paul, Keauhou
Please know you’re absolutely not alone in your thinking! In fact, you have validated the place at which many of us are right now and I thank you for that. Like Ewa, I gave my notice last week to make a space to do what I need to do without dealing with the ongoing stress and anxiety of THE JOB which was distracting from my true purpose at this moment in time. And as Paul notes, I’m also awaiting my orders. Quite interesting actually…..after decades of orbiting in the corporate world….I’m no longer thinking in terms of ‘a job’. I’ve made room to create my ‘work’…..work which is joyful, meaningful and carried out on a daily basis in a loving manner. Job v. work…..apples and oranges. I am, at long last and finally, following my Higher Self and my heart and, surprisingly, it wasn’t a difficult or angst-ridden decision. It just HAD to be. As I create my work in service to others the money will come. John Burroughs wrote, “Leap and the net will appear.”
As a sidebar, I SO resonate with your camel comments. Been there/done that and it’s too funny how a camel ride (and the expected payment for same) unfolds once the owner of the animal manages to get a visitor onboard. Will be looking forward to your post re that subject. ; )
Much love and light to you and everyone else who are in the process of following their hearts and taking the amazing leap.
Hi Susan,
I like your take on job versus work,,i resonate with that compleately.I too worked in corporate world till 2008, got made redundant , went travelling but then got involved in a my neighbour s new venture, her coffee shop. It was nice meeting all local peopel etc but the place has now got so busy and its really hard work. So it was a natural progression to just quit to open up space for new to appear. No idea what is in store for me,I too am awaiting “my orders” ;) Perhaps we should co-create something! :)
Much love
Ewa
Just wanted to say thank you for posting what you did. I’ve been in the same situation for several months now— the revulsion you described. I’ve been consciously choosing to ‘take my nose OFF the grindstone’, to feel and ‘be’ and allow myself to be focused on energy things instead of the hours and hours of work I used to do every day, even though it feels really risky on a material level to not be bringing in more work. And I get the same ‘tinkery’ thoughts come up: brain and ego get in a panic, while soul insists this is the way to go. It has been a wild ride, learning that everything I need *does* come to me in the Flow, and that I don’t have to worry (but I still do). It is so helpful to know that others are experiencing this as well, so thank you!!
I am in the same position as you. Yesterday, I told my husband that it was the first day in a long time where I didn’t hear those voices you’re talking about. As you may know, I post articles for 2013 Rainbow Roundtable, and I’m following the process each and every day, posting articles, passing along news. I do have a family and my kids are high priority, but the rest of the household management just gets done as I can, and I let a lot go to do the things you’re talking about here. I do think it is an inevitable place to be prior to ascension and our Higher Selves are preparing us for what is to come. Glad to know I’m not alone, but a LOT of times, it doesn’t feel good to not “DO.” I am a doer. And I’m learning to BE. Very very important…Lots of Love!
This is strictly Ego telling you to survive instead of thrive as you are doing now. Yes, it’s a bit daunting not to have all those things most people have grown to depend upon based on monetary values but all of them are part of the 3D illusion of scarcity and want not abundance which is our birthright. We must learn to depend on the wishes and desires of our hearts instead. There is no choice necessary, the Ego voice needs to be still now while you follow your own higher power. Yes, this often means playing with your cats and helping people who write to you instead of making someone else rich. It’s a much higher calling. We all are being asked to silence our Ego’s sort of mocking and negative voice and follow our hearts right now. Nothing is more important because we are being guided in much more important ways and all will be provided once we get free of Ego and tune in fully to our heart. Much love! xoxoxox
STOP SENDING US EMAILS…
I cannot unsubscribe anyone. Nor can I subscribe anyone. Nor do I ever send any emails from this WordPress blog. Anyone who is getting emails had to have subscribed to it themselves. But it is easy to unsubscribe and stop receiving any emails. This is from the WordPress site here…
http://en.forums.wordpress.com/topic/how-do-i-remove-an-email-subscriber?replies=3#post-620208
Here’s what they say:
Your subscriber will have to remove himself.
At the bottom of the emails, there is this:
WordPress.com | Thanks for flying with WordPress!
Manage Subscriptions | Unsubscribe | Express yourself. Start a blog.
He / she should click on “unsubscribe.”
Sorry, but you can’t do it for the person.
I don’t know exactly “what” you are doing either, but I sure hope you keep doing it! This is my “good news channel.” I don’t watch the other stuff.
Feel free to edit this part out if you wish, but I wanted to make a suggestion to you: Have you considered setting up a way for people to make donations to your website? I know that a lot of people who read your blogs are struggling financially, but not all of us are (other ways instead, maybe). Many people have a little extra every month, if they look for it, and little amounts can add up. All you would need to do would be to set up a Pay Pal account and let people know your Pay Pal email. I’m sure you really know all this already and maybe have considered it and rejected it. But it would be a way for people who are getting so much from what you are doing to reciprocate and show their appreciation. It’s important to give back when you receive something of value – keeps the energy balanced. If I’m out of line, please forgive me.
Thank You for your honest and heart-felt comments.But, you need to realise how important your work is to so many people.You are providing information and inspiration for a very important group of individuals.People like myself, who have come to realise that we have re-incarnated this life-time to help foster humanity through it’s most important growth period in our history.It is because of your blog-posts and other’s like yours that I have been able to discover my purpose in life- THANK YOU! You are providing a VERY valuable service to humanity. please never forget this!
I’ll add my voice to the others and say that “you are not alone” in what you have written. I walked away almost 18 years ago from the ‘rat race’ and yes; income dropped down to one-quarter of what I used to have; but the peace and inner harmony I received in exchange has enabled me to expand in spiritual ways. Yes, there have been many times when going back to work has skittered across my thoughts; but that would be stepping back into a regimen I don’t wish to re-enter unless it becomes a matter of life or death. Peace of soul is valued more highly than anything else in my life now. Follow your Soul; and all will be made well one way or the other.
its a sluggishness to remain here in 3D i think!!! I’ve noticed many, many unique people i do not talk about this type of stuff (i’m a big free will fan) telling me about how they lack energy. Its not the regular kind, its the psychic/spiritual kind and they’re acknowledging it!
I’ve noticed i can’t get done half of what i intend to. and in that light, i just removed all distractions two weeks ago finally. I had emails piled up to 200 in both work and personnel accounts. something clicked and in one day i parsed that down to 35 personal and under 30 on my work account. I felt so free…then i’ve removed all mailing lists i was signed up with that aren’t positive or practical. I only realized a few days ago why i am doing this and its basically because i am done. I know i am…so now i am removing all the junk from my house (that’s the stuff i haven’t been able to finish as i am drained a lot) via donating most all of it. Trashing the rest…let go of this world…that’s my mini mission within these last few moments…
I almost started a freeman crusade using the law to divorce my self from the State, but why bother; that fight is grounded in the 3D experience and besdies much bigger energies are doin a lot of the work for us and i give thanks!!!!
peace be unto all!!!!!
Just to say that though I haven’t much time these days – mainly ‘living’ – or not! ascension stuff, I went by instinct into just one of the emails from people I didn’t know personally, and came to this posting – and all I can say is, snap! It’s exactly what I’m going through and feeling – and so are a lot of other people I know not as umbilically-attached to the 3D world anymore.
Boy can I relate. This is the exact situation I too am in, and it seems many of us are at this time. I too have been spreading news of ascension (including sharing your posts) and have been for a few years on Facebook. It is amazing how many persons are waking and joining the ascension process. But somehow this has became a full time non paying job. But with all the persons (daily)who tell me this work has changed their life, I keep going. In these past days, I have sold a lot of things from my old life, just to keep myself going. I know this is what I am called to do, and there are so many like us who are all in the same boat! Keep it! I thank you for all you do! LOVE!